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toward living, away from addictions and dependency on alcohol
without resorting to the usual 12-step program.


I can do this - you can too.

Plus, I will make you laugh along the way.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Toga Parties-Be Thankful if You Missed the Fad

I was re-watching Animal House this weekend, and was reminded of my fist three semesters of college...
I was also reminded of the worst date in history-I know, I was there.

Years ago, Toga Parties were all the rage.

 I had met a guy named Larry, a dumb jock, but good-looking. Mimbos aren't usually my choice, but, why not try it?

There was a Toga Party, so I invited Larry. He had a broken leg, so I drove, first mistake?!

We get to the party and Larry props his casted leg on the keg and proceeds to get drunk, snarling at all that come near him-the life of any party!

I decided this was going nowhere, so I took Mimbo home. As I was driving, we hit a red light. Larry chose this moment to maul me. As I was trying to fight him off, I noticed the light was green-I did not take into account that I was looking sideways.

I figure if I ease off the brake, Larry will lay off...so I ease off the brake and BAM!! I hit the car in front of me, that was stopped at the still red light. As Larry was not belted in and was at an odd position, his head hit the windshield and drove his front tooth through his lip.

I now have a crumedgeon in a cast with blood covering his face, and a cracked  windshield.

I figure the best solution is to quickly get the Mimbo home.

I take the freeway, and figure this can't get any worse.....wrong...

The flashing lights appear in my rearview. Never having been pulled over, I was a bit wigged out. Mimbo drunkenly says let him talk, he'll take care of it.

I thank doG had not been drinking. (I had a rule, no driving and drinking).

I stop, and greet the officers in my Toga. They ask if I have been drinking, while Mimbo is yelling at them.

I say no, I am trying to get him home to bed.

I need to get my license, which is in my trunk.

A side note, my girlfriend who was well-endowed, left her clothes, including her 38 DDD bra in my trunk.

I pull out my purse, and did notice the bra snagged on the strap. The rather ample bra flies out and lands at the policemen's feet.

Geez, they are trying to hold it together.

I am now standing on the edge of the freeway, bathed in the squad cars lights, in a Toga...

I bend down to pick up the bra. With my purse in one hand, and the bra in the other, I stand up, and, off falls my Toga.

I of course am standing in front of John Law, naked as a jay bird.

They were literally rolling with laughter...I got off with a fix-it ticket for a broken headlight.

I never saw Larry again.

I never attended another Toga Party.

I am sure those officers still tell the story today at the station house,

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About Me/About Time

Middle age...gads, how did I get here? With a new limited beverage selection. I think some of this can be traced to those life experiences, visited upon me by my family. In no particular order, the following stories have shaped my life.